Today was a much better day with Tatiana. She didn't sleep well last night (which translates to neither did mama) - even after going to bed really well, she was up off and on most of the night. She's either a very light sleeper (at one point there was some major stomping around/furniture moving upstairs that seemed to wake her) or we just haven't replicated the baby home experience well enough. And around 5:30am she was DONE with the sleeping.
Rhonda joined us around 7:00am and we played for a bit in the morning. In my non-sleeping last night, I decided to follow the theory of "keep her world small". We put some of the toys up and went with just 1 or 2 at a time. As much as some of things that the baby home said can be taken with a grain of salt -- this is probably legit.
She started to have a mini-meltdown this morning - likely from not getting enough sleep. She napped for around an hour and I managed to probably rest about 1/2 that over in Rhonda's room (connecting - VERY handy). Her nap may have been interrupted a little too soon, and we tried to get her to go down again later, but she didn't want to have anything to do with it.
This afternoon we were off to the Consulate for our appointment. For all of you Russian adoptive parents - Vladivostok offers an option of having a courier go to Moscow instead of you going... so first you go to the Consulate to verify everything. I was NOT looking forward to the car ride after yesterday. I brought her bunny with us - one of the pair she likes to sleep with and I held her on my lap and let her rock as if she were sleeping in bed. She wasn't exactly calm - but it was a HUGE improvement. We may survive the flight home after all! There were tears here and there during our appointments but overall she did MUCH better.
She was SUPER tired in the car on the way home - our appointment was during a normal naptime. And she almost dozed off. She came home and tried to get into her crib, so I put her in but suddenly she wanted NOTHING to do with a nap. I was torn because if she slept then (we got home around 5ish) then I knew it was going to mess up the rest of the night. We ended up getting her up and she had a great evening. Rhonda and I even got to eat "near" the restaurant like real people!!
Speaking of eating, T has done a 180 in this department as well. Rhonda ordered the hamburger for lunch and gave some bites to T. She LOVED it. Ate every piece she could - and this was AFTER she had 1/2 a jar of baby food (think chicken stew with potatoes)and a 1/4 of a roll. Dinner was about the same. She ate burger (ordered for her), chicken (some of Aunt Rhonda's), roll and then had bites of dessert as well. I would almost say that she had a "belly" afterward - like a normal toddler!!
All in all - great progress. Thanks to ALL of you for the wonderful comments. My hats off to all the moms - you make it look so easy! I have appreciated all the feedback and it helped me realize that not only am I not a complete freak, but I am not alone in this either. It's also a GODSEND to have Rhonda here. Her birthday is around the corner -- any ideas? Somehow nothing will seem enough!!
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14 comments:
So glad you had a better day. You really have to take each day as it comes. I hope tonight goes better as well!!
Love, Suz
Amy -
Wow, she's finally yours! She's beautiful. I really enjoyed looking at the pictures and seeing her for the first time.
Keep up the good work, it will get easier!
Phyllis & Ed
(AKA "Fish Head Ed" from the first trip.)
Wow Amy, I am so happy for you! I love reading about your daily activities and can't wait to hear and see more. Cindy
Glad to hear you have made progress! Perhpas you will get more sleep in the days to come. Keep the updates coming. How about some more pictures?!? (o:
So glad to hear that today was better. I bet tomorrow will be better still. Hang in there. Hope you both sleep tonight!
(And YES to avoiding overstimulation and keeping her world very, very small.)
So happy to hear she did not cry so hard in the car this time. Hoping for the best during the flight. She sounds so cute.
So does this mean you do not have to go to Moscow at all? Every region is different in some way. I think I might like that option.
Having Rhonda there is a Godsend! Is she available for my second trip too?? Just kidding Rhonda.
Joy
It's wonderful to see the daily changes in my granddaughter's demeanor AND my daughter's motherly skills! Yeay, Rhonda, I'm glad you are there now, too, to add a little sanity, a little goofiness, and a lot of help!
Amy's Mom (Sue)
Thanks again for such a great update. I'm so happy Rhonda is there for you and that yesterday was a better day. They may not all be, but you're doing great. I, too, will rely on so many other adoptive moms out there (including you) when I'm experiencing those tantrums and sleepless nights. I wish for great days ahead for you!
So glad for you that you have some adult support there now as well. And yeah for you having a better day. Milestones are very, very small sometimes; but they are still milestones!
Sleeping in the same room with Hannah did nothing to help me sleep either: she was so hyper-vigilant she couldn't stay asleep long no matter how tired she was. Once she began to attach and began to trust I would still be there when she woke up, then she slept more soundly too. Remember, all Tatiana knows is that a relative stranger came and took her away from everything familiar. She has no way of knowing it won't happen again, so may have a really hard time relaxing enough to sleep well. Try to get your sleep when she does - it'll help you when she is awake!
It'll be a lot easier when you get home and aren't living out of a suitcase :)
Hang in there Amy! It gets much easier once you're home and she can get settled in.
It sounds like you are doing an awesome job with her--balancing parenting with the special needs of a new adoptee.
You are bringing back the memories!
I'm glad the day went better. Truthfully, there will always be days like that with kids. Several good and a bad every now and again. T is adjusting to so much and she just needs time. You'll really want to get her on a schedule when you get home. Our theory was to just survive until we got home and then we just went with the flow. Once home we had to pretty much take everything out of Daniel's bedroom so he could settle down and sleep. Grab rest whenever you can and hang in there. You're doing great!
So glad to hear that things went better today...
Hang in there sweetie! You're almost HOME!
Huge hugs and prayers for sleep!
Oh Amy!! I wish I were in the room next door right now, so I could run over and hug you!! I feel your pain, as it was only a few months ago when we were there dealing with the tears, rocking, and fear that Bradyn was going through. In retrospect, I was always so worried about how others were perceiving him...especially when you are adopting one of "theirs"...but as a wise person once told me, don't worry about what anyone else thinks...just Tatiana. Follow your heart, gut, whatever it may be, in those moments, sometimes you will grasp at anything! Here's my experience...Brady slept with us in the bed, rocking and all, while we were there and for the first few weeks when we were home! He sucked (still sucks) his 2 fingers and he rubs a hankie or a blankie on his face. He still rocks himself despite my attempts at rocking him. My theory is, this is what he has done for the first 16 months of his life...who am I to take it any of that away from him? I can be there to provide additional love, rocking, etc., but if it helps him, then I let it be. As far as the crying, every time a door opened, closed, or any movement was made, Bradyn not only cried but screamed. I finally discovered that if I would make this loud surprised sound "OOhhh!!" he would stop crying long enough to see what I was so intrigued by...then I would quickly find something and point it out to him..."Look at the doggie, painting, person, car...whatever I happened to see in the moment"... yeah, it would work for 5 seconds, he stop crying and then he'd start in again and I'd do the same thing "OOhh...look at that tree". Yeah, corny I know...but I guess my whole point in all of this is survival...do what you need to do to get through this and get home...as everyone has said...it will get easier!!
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