Sunday, May 10, 2009

Memories on Mother's Day

Swinging in her Favorite "Weeeeeee"

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there. My friend Sue said this morning on facebook "To All Who Mother - whether by birth (or adoption!), by job or by personality!" I LOVE it. And a special Happy Mother's Day to all you "waiting mom's". Days like today can be hard when you are waiting for your little one...

Thinking of those waiting mom's made me look back a little bit today at my own wait. My wait was torturous, like everyone else's. However, honestly in retrospect I have to be very thankful that my wait really wasn't all that bad. It was within the next couple weeks last year that I really started getting serious about adoption. And like anything I do, when I put my mind on something I want to do it NOW. I have told you that I have the patience of a knat. So all told, including finding an agency, homestudy etc. my journey was basically 10 months start to finish. I have NOTHING to complain about.

And that's what made me think. Hindsight is 20/20 vision.

I think back to how impatient I was and how much harder I made it on myself. When people would tell me "enjoy your last ______ alone". "Get some sleep now while you can". "When it's your time it will happen". I wanted to kick people in the teeth when they said it. Seriously. Which is why I WON'T say it now here to all my waiting friends. But I WILL say... I hate admitting this. They were right.

I made my journey so much harder on myself than it had to be. My impatience often got the best of me. I loved reading everyone's blog and following other families journeys. But sometimes I'd compare my journey to theirs and you CAN'T. Each road is a little different. I am overjoyed at how my journey progressed. It's amazing to me how things changed along the way. When I joined my agency there were a lot of families ahead of me waiting for girls. I ALWAYS wanted a girl - she would be named Elizabeth after my gramma. I knew the wait was long for a girl in Moscow City - and I knew if I was giving birth, the gender of the child would be out of my hands - so I moved forward with boy-ville. I shopped for boy stuff, and started prepping for a little boy. While waiting for my clearance from Homeland Security to bring a child into the states, a new region opened up with my agency. Vladivostok. But - I wanted to go to Moscow City. We decided we'd start with Vlad because you didn't need the clearance papers upfront to get registered. And then Moscow City closed to singles. Oh NO! But a short 4 weeks after I was registered in my NEW region - bam! There he was. 2 days after my birthday.

Even after being told that he was "above avg risk" by a great IA doc, I agreed to travel to meet him. Most of the questions the doc had about him needed to be answered in person. I knew the second I saw him that I wasn't the mom for him. I was told there was a little girl -- wait? a girl? But her mom was a drinker... oh no. She's got to be bad, right? While we were waiting for super-secret clearance to see the little girl, I spied a little cutie on the playground. Most of you know my story that the little cutie is now my little girl. And her name is Tatiana Elizabeth... but I know that my gramma is still THRILLED.

I had this journey planned out in my head. I was going to Moscow City for a boy. I ended up in Vladivostok with a little girl. And I wouldn't change a moment of it.


Clarese said...

Thank you for sharing that, Amy. I think it is difficult to go through it while we are in the middle of it, but reading other people's stories and perspectives is so, so helpful! It is really amazing how your journey ended up exactly as it did :)

Happy mother's day!

Becky and Keith said...

Happy first Mother's Day to you!!!

Barb said...

I love the story about that day at the baby home - how your life changed forever. Hope you had a great Mother's Day!

Roger and Joanne said...

Yes, thanks for sharing the journey of your story. People aren't telling me so much to sleep now, go do this now... I have been telling myself that. So, even though we've been busy getting the rooms together, we've still made time the last few months to do those precious things. So important.
Ya know...I joined your journey towards the end of your 1st trip in Vlad, and I guess I never read backwards to the beginning. How funny that you wanted Moscow and ended up in Vlad. Started with a boy and ended with beautiful T. I started in Vlad and ended up in Moscow with a boy and a girl.

Heather said...

I love your story Amy. Thanks for recapping it for us!

findingourdaughter said...

Your adoption journey was very exciting and so meant to be.....and I am so honored that I got to follow it as closely as I did.
Happy Mother's Day!!
BTW, I am "calm" in my wait....for now, LOL!
Hugs and God bless,

Rob and Angela Knight said...

Hello! I love your blog - such cute pictues. We have been "assigned" to Astrakhan for 9 months. I think you used Lighthouse for your adoption. If you get a chance, I would love to chat with you about your experience there. My email is Thanks!

Troy and Rachel said...

Happy Mother's Day! You're right - everyone's road is different and in the end, no matter what you went through, it was the right road!!

Jennifer said...

I love your story! I did not know it so thank you for sharing! Glad you spotted her and knew she was for you!

Kristine said...

You really do have a great is obvious that little Tatiana was meant to be yours! And she is just precious!!!



Happy Mom's Day, Amy! What a special time for you two!!