Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there. My friend Sue said this morning on facebook "To All Who Mother - whether by birth (or adoption!), by job or by personality!" I LOVE it. And a special Happy Mother's Day to all you "waiting mom's". Days like today can be hard when you are waiting for your little one...
Thinking of those waiting mom's made me look back a little bit today at my own wait. My wait was torturous, like everyone else's. However, honestly in retrospect I have to be very thankful that my wait really wasn't all that bad. It was within the next couple weeks last year that I really started getting serious about adoption. And like anything I do, when I put my mind on something I want to do it NOW. I have told you that I have the patience of a knat. So all told, including finding an agency, homestudy etc. my journey was basically 10 months start to finish. I have NOTHING to complain about.
And that's what made me think. Hindsight is 20/20 vision.
I think back to how impatient I was and how much harder I made it on myself. When people would tell me "enjoy your last ______ alone". "Get some sleep now while you can". "When it's your time it will happen". I wanted to kick people in the teeth when they said it. Seriously. Which is why I WON'T say it now here to all my waiting friends. But I WILL say...
I made my journey so much harder on myself than it had to be. My impatience often got the best of me. I loved reading everyone's blog and following other families journeys. But sometimes I'd compare my journey to theirs and you CAN'T. Each road is a little different. I am overjoyed at how my journey progressed. It's amazing to me how things changed along the way. When I joined my agency there were a lot of families ahead of me waiting for girls. I ALWAYS wanted a girl - she would be named Elizabeth after my gramma. I knew the wait was long for a girl in Moscow City - and I knew if I was giving birth, the gender of the child would be out of my hands - so I moved forward with boy-ville. I shopped for boy stuff, and started prepping for a little boy. While waiting for my clearance from Homeland Security to bring a child into the states, a new region opened up with my agency. Vladivostok. But - I wanted to go to Moscow City. We decided we'd start with Vlad because you didn't need the clearance papers upfront to get registered. And then Moscow City closed to singles. Oh NO! But a short 4 weeks after I was registered in my NEW region - bam! There he was. 2 days after my birthday.
Even after being told that he was "above avg risk" by a great IA doc, I agreed to travel to meet him. Most of the questions the doc had about him needed to be answered in person. I knew the second I saw him that I wasn't the mom for him. I was told there was a little girl -- wait? a girl? But her mom was a drinker... oh no. She's got to be bad, right? While we were waiting for super-secret clearance to see the little girl, I spied a little cutie on the playground. Most of you know my story that the little cutie is now my little girl. And her name is Tatiana Elizabeth... but I know that my gramma is still THRILLED.
I had this journey planned out in my head. I was going to Moscow City for a boy. I ended up in Vladivostok with a little girl. And I wouldn't change a moment of it.