The Messy Truth

When in the course of a mother's events it becomes necessary to tell the messy truth -- I will. And today, it became glaringly obvious. I hold these truths to be evident, and not just to myself.

I AM EXHAUSTED. And my house is a mess. My house will likely be a mess for at least the next 5 years. Or longer. I have never been an "everything in it's place" type person. I know these people. And I admire their skills. However, it's not me. Never will be. And now that I am out numbered, I can't keep up with their messes. As I am cleaning things up, silently they are behind me, making more messes.

The jump from 1 to 2 kids is hard. Being a single mom is hard! Being a single, working mom is hard! Ok - there I said it. Yes, I am back at work. Shortest maternity leave in the history of time -- I know, however, adoption doesn't qualify for "short term disability" in my employers eyes.

So for now, I am getting used to the juggle. Juggling being exhausted and having 4 more things to do before bed (including getting caught up here - no pressure other than from myself, and the desire to record my thoughts/emotions while I have them). Juggling the needs of two kids and balancing some of both of their jealousies (hold me, no hold ME, you get the picture!). Juggling the inevitable work/life/family balance - with one of the least favorable bosses in the history of time. Juggling what I want to do vs. what I HAVE to do.

Enough of the complaining... such is life! I do have to admit, I am terribly blessed. Alex's transition has been, for the most part, VERY smooth. And even in my frantic clean up tonight, as I was purging things - I came across one of Tatiana's preschool folders (from the class that is now done for the school year) - inside was a "journal" picture she made to answer the question of "what will you do this summer". Often, these journal entries are focused around really exciting things in her life (visiting Grampa and Gramma in FL; going somewhere special with Gramma Darlin) - but this time, her response was "I am going to the beach with mama". And suddenly the whole juggle is worth it!

Now on to the basics!

We had a fun weekend - nothing too major, nothing overboard, but a good weekend. We got groceries, planted flowers at the cemetery, went to a family friend's farm to see baby lambs (among other things!), saw two parades, went to a pancake breakfast and finally spent most of Monday at the VERY COLD pool. The heat had not been turned on in the pool yet, so it was a very cool 66 degrees to start with. Tatiana was miserable at first -- but as the pool warmed up, little Miss Zero Body Fat got more comfortable. (And of course was asking to go back tonight!) It was too cold for Alex's first swim, so we'll put that off for another week or so. Plus there was NO way I was going in at that temp and he goes with me! Poor little Russian wasn't used to this heat, though and was a sweaty mess. He and I hung out in the shade... but I still got burnt. Apparently I remembered to put sunscreen on THEM repeatedly, but me? Not so much! Sign of a mama, I guess.

Our weather jumped from 50's/60's to 80's/90's on Monday and today. The rest of the week is supposed to be 70's+, which will be nice, but, of course -- more rain! We may have to make a trip back to the farm to make sure there are twos of each of the animals because the ark can't be far behind at this point...

As I type, here comes the next round of rain... stay dry!!