Monday, February 2, 2009

A Day I Don't Want to Face

A few weeks back I wrote about my sweet, baby Murphy. Murphy is my 16 year old beautiful boy that is "Practically Perfect in Everyway". We've been together for 16 years this spring - almost my whole "adult" life.

I have been trying to prepare myself that our time together is drawing to an end. Slowly the last couple months I have noticed a decline in his well-being and behavior. He's gotten really skinny and spends a majority of his time sleeping. He's not interested in playing anymore.

When we were packing away the Christmas decorations this year, I tried to get Murphy to promise me that he'd be around to unpack them next year. (He has his own stocking and ornaments, you know) Sadly, I don't think that will be the case. In fact, today may be our last day together. We have an appointment at the vet today at 2:30pm and I think she will reinforce my suspicion that something is failing - likely his kidneys or his liver. He didn't really want to eat today - and I am talking slivered turkey (yes, in my preparation for the end, he gets whatever he wants) not cat food! So I am trying to ready myself for the message.

How do you say goodbye to your best friend? I don't want him to suffer and need to make that decision for him, but a life without him seems very empty and lonely. I really wanted Little T to meet him, as he has been a big part of my life. It's hard to even type this without crying.

I have shared my house with some wonderful pets - and the last 3 years have been really hard. I lost Gertie in April of 07, Nougat in September of 08 and Murphy potentially soon to follow. When we love our pets, we know that someday we'll have to face these days, but it doesn't make it any easier. Please keep my precious boy in your thoughts.


jeanette wunderly said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your Murphy. What a long and wonderful relationship you have had with him. I am trying the whole "being positive" thing lately, so maybe this needs to happen now so you can go to Russia and focus on T and not worry about your friend back home. I hope you get through today ok and maybe good news is to follow very soon. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Carolynn and Steve said...

Oh, sweetie,

I am so, so sorry that you're going through this, especially now when things are still unsettled with the adoption. We lost our beloved Asher about the same time that we found out we would need to change agencies, and the two things together just broke my heart. It is so hard to lose someone who has given you such unconditional love for such a long time, and I pray that God will be with you. Please know that I am here if you need anything.

Nancy said...

This makes me very're both in my thoughts and prayers.

Rhonda said...

i can't say anything... but you know.


Heather said...

Poor Murphy. How very sad. I was thinking along the lines of Jeanette's comment as well - the idea of closing one chapter before beginning another... I am sure that is not a comforting thought today, but someday very soon perhaps it will be. Hang in there Amy!

Lindsay said...

Oh, so sorry Amy to hear this. They are, quite simply, family and their loss is hard to accept.

My thoughts are with you.

Nichole said...

That is so rough! I am so sorry. I wish there was something to say or do that would make you feel better. Hang in there! I am thinking of you guys.

Joy said...

Oh I am so sad for you. I know that when I have to face that day I will be very upset too. I will keep your little kitty in my thoughts and prayers today.