Little Girl Lost

I lost my daughter today for approximately 5 minutes.  5 of the worst minutes of my life.  We're all fine, but I hope it never happens again.

This weekend, to escape the dull drums of winter, my mother and I decided to get two hotel rooms down in Port Huron (the nearest big city) at a hotel with a pool.  Tatiana is such a fish and obviously here in the north our swimming opportunities during the winter months are slim to none.  Alex isn't much of a pool fan still, but everything was going well.  

Tatiana and I snuck out on Saturday afternoon to see Beauty and the Beast in 3D.  We had dinner at Red Lobster (Tatiana and my mom's favorite) and generally relaxed during the first snowy weekend of the year.  

After breakfast in the lobby this morning, Alex, Tatiana and I started heading back to my room.  It's important to note that our rooms were on the first floor, 2 rooms off the lobby - so not far.  I asked Tatiana to go back and help Gramma (my mom) who has a fused ankle from a fall years ago and will probably permanently be on crutches.  After a couple of minutes I heard my mom's crutches near my room and so I opened the door to let Tatiana in.  But, she wasn't there with my mom.  

I asked my mom where T was -- and she said, "I don't know, she left".  So while I was annoyed that my mom didn't know where she was, I headed back to the small lobby where breakfast was.   But, she wasn't there.  The people in the lobby said she had been there, but had left.  This is a SMALL hotel.  There's not many places for a child to go.  But yet, she was gone.  

I started yelling her name.  Nothing.  I yelled at my mom.  It didn't help -- she was still missing.  I ran back to my room, had she snuck in without me seeing?  Not possible, but logic wasn't exactly my strong suit at this point.  Full on panic was setting in.  As suspected, she wasn't in my room.  By this time some of the staff had heard my panicked yelling and had come out to help.  I checked the pool area which is just off the lobby and thankfully she wasn't there.  Or not thankfully, as it meant she was still missing.  I think the hyperventilation started about now.  

A staff member went to check another floor and nothing.   I think it was this point that I threw the books I was carrying on the floor and yelled for someone to call 9-11.  All I could think was the someone took her.  She was gone.  I felt like I was living my worst nightmare.  Another guest was telling me that the best thing was to remain calm.  Which surely was the best advice, however, in my full on panic, I could NOT see this.  

I am not sure what prompted her, but my mom went into her room - which I will note she had NOT opened with a key at this point.  And there was Tatiana.  My mom's room door didn't lock properly and could be opened without her key.  Apparently Tatiana when helping my mom ran ahead into Gramma's room and was able to get in because of the key issue.  

I may have squeezed that girl harder than ever before.  Scariest 5 minutes of my life - that felt like 5 hours.  

In other weekend news, the media is reporting that the Foreign Ministry in Russia is again calling for a ban on US Adoptions of Russian children.  I truly hope this is just political posturing for their upcoming March elections and not something that is headed our way.  I would hate for the thousands of future Russian adoptive families and kids to never know the love that caused me such panic and pain this morning.  

February Updates

So it's officially February.  The longest shortest month of the year.  Usually, during February, I start to get a little stir crazy.  The cold weather tends to keep me inside more than I'd like.  This year's weather has been vastly different to say the least.  We've had next to NO snow.  Literally, as I sit here typing this on February 8th, my driveway has not yet had to be snow-plowed.  The little snow we've gotten has melted typically within 12 hours and isn't enough to really plow anyway.  


Since I have resorted to talking about the weather, you'll probably detect that there's not much to report as far as updates.  But alas, I'll do my best to entertain you for a few minutes more.  


Alex's passport arrived on wait day 9.  Not bad!  Even better was that all of the original paperwork was returned on day 11 (I knew from getting Tatiana's passport that they'd likely be returned separately).  Watch out world -- have passport, will travel!

Check out this big boy!

In other Alex news, my baby is no longer a baby!  Last fall, when Tatiana transitioned to a "big girl bed" (single bed vs. toddler bed), Alex moved from the crib to her toddler bed.  But the crib remained in his room.  This past weekend the crib was dismantled and returned to it's owner.  A little sad, yes, but if the next step can be no more diapers, I am ALL for this growing up thing.


Speaking of growing up, Tatiana is having a good year at school.   I am still debating our plans for school next year.  Each report card that comes home essentially says the same thing - and confirms what I already knew:  she's whip smart, catches on super easy, but struggles in the department of maturity.  Curses to the late fall birthdays!!  And 2.5 years in an orphanage doesn't exactly help matters in that department either.  She's reading now and amazes me each week with what she's learned.  I ADORE her teachers.  They're awesome.  

Showing mama the funny Groundhog for Groundhog's day on Starfall

 This girl loves to read -- Sunday morning surrounded by books!

We're still counting down to our big trip this spring, but in the meantime, we're planning a quick trip locally to a hotel with a pool.  Like me, I think Tatiana starts to get a little stir crazy mid-winter, so hopefully this will help clear out some of the winter blues!

Wing and a Prayer

Around the anniversary of Alex's court date, the kidlets and I are going on a special trip.  We're cruising with some other adoptive families and close friends.  I literally can't wait!  I think I am worse than the young school child, almost counting down the days til we depart!  Our destination is Mexico.  We're hoping to even take a dip with some dolphins and generally enjoy some time away, relaxing. 

Because we're headed out of the country, it's time to get Alex's passport.  Tatiana has had hers since our summer '09 trip to Niagara Falls, Canada.  Besides we live 30 minutes from Canada, so a spur of the moment trip there is not out of the question -- and now, you need a passport.  

Most adoptive parents can relate to my stress over sending away for the passport.  All the passport application documents state that for adoptive children who were not born in the US, you need to send their adoption certificate, country of birth-birth certificate and certificate of citizenship.  Oh yeah, and they need to be the ORIGINALS.  You know, the ones you only have 1 copy of and would be very, very difficult to replace.  So yes, just a wee bit of stress sending those off to an unknown office somewhere in never, never land.  

But alas, it must be done, so this week -- it was.  Documents are in the mail and we're now on the clock.  I did spring for the expedited process (meaning RUSH, double meaning pay more) as I have heard this is a good way to not only obviously speed things up, but have a tracking #... so hopefully next week Alex's brand spankin new passport will arrive, along with my sacred originals.  

His passport picture cracks me up, but then again so does Tatiana's.  In T's -- she looks SO young to me.  And it is apparently Murphy's Law that the photo must capture a child's best expression of.... "huh, what?".  So therefore, without further ado, here is Alex's passport picture.  We'll chock the constant mouth open pose of late to cutting molars.  

Mama Guilt

A couple days ago, another IA mama had posted on Facebook that one of the talk shows (I think Anderson Cooper) had a discussion topic that day of working moms vs. stay at home moms.   I didn't see the show -- because I fall into that category of working mom.  And add to that working mom of 2 young children who somehow seem to dominate most of the TV viewing choices in the house.  Needless to say, the original posting received a LOT of comments - a majority of them very positive.  


That post stuck in my head.  It's a topic very near and dear to my heart.  Not specifically the stay at home mom VS the working mom topic, but more for me the working mom topic.  I haven't had the ability to try out the stay at home mom job.  During both adoptions I received 1 week "parental leave" and that's it.  The rest of leave is to be covered by vacation or FMLA.  Well, vacation had been used up with travel for trips 1 & 2 (and in Alex's case, #3 as well) and with the expense of adoption, FMLA just wasn't an option.  My company sees maternity leave as medical leave -- and with an adoption you don't qualify for medical leave.  I can't complain too much however, they are progressive enough to provide a $5K adoption grant - which is very nice.  Some may choose to supplement FMLA with that $5K, but for me as a single, with the cost of adoption, again it wasn't an option.  I am NOT complaining.  This was all my choice.  So, my stay at home mom life has been limited to about 1 week. 


I personally believe that EITHER choice:  stay at home or working mom, is HARD work.  Let's face, parenting in general is the hardest, best job ever.  This isn't a post on one choice being better than the other.   This is however, a post on my own personal working mama's guilt.  And I'll be straight up honest there is a LOT of it.  Guilt that is.  


My job is demanding and yet at the same time, I laugh posting that.  I.  Sell.  Chocolate.  Milk.  How can it be so demanding?   Working for the world's largest food company, it's all about more.  Sell more, grow more.  More than last year.  Combine that with the fact that my territory is a whole state - demanding.  I have 6 distributors - and a good part of my time is meant to be spent with those distributors:  getting them to (you guessed it) sell more.  Obviously that means windshield time -- travel.        Many times day trips, sometimes over nights.  Day trips are long days -- usually because I am pushing it to go home to see my kids vs. staying in a hotel some where.   Weekdays are a blur:  we're always in a hurry and I never feel like I get any quality time with Tati & Alex, because it's always rush, rush.  Rush out the door in the am, rush in at night, hurry and eat and get a bath completed before bed.  I always say mama is crabby Tuesday - Thursday nights.  


I am unique in my region for work.  On my sales team there are now 3 females -- myself and two others.  Of the two others, 1 is younger and single (no kids); and the other is married and has no kids.  The rest of the team is all men - all of which, minus one, have stay at home wives.  And therefore most of them (including my boss) have NO clue what it entails to be a working mom in our environment.  If I leave the house for 2 nights, I not only have to pack all my clothes and work items, but their clothes/school items.  I have to remember - is gym day at school falling during this time?  Did I pack the tennis shoes?  Is it trash day?  Who will haul my garbage to the curb?  What happens if one of them gets sick?  On and on and on...


As they get older, more and more of the guilt sets in.  What do I do about the kids choir at church?  (They practice after school on Wednesdays - a busy day for me usually - and are done by 4pm.  Who picks Tati up?)  What about softball or soccer?  Practice and then games are many times @ 5:30pm.  I can't always be home by then.  


I am VERY lucky to have a wonderful support system with my mom.  However, with the amount of travel I do, I am very conscious how much I have to lean on her.  I personally don't think it's fair to ask her:  "Hey, can you pick up my kids and schlep Tati out to T-ball practice, sit there and oh yeah make sure Alex sits patiently too".  Because 2 year old are known for sitting patiently, you know.  It's just not a fair request on ANY of them.


And as lucky as I am to have a great mom/support system, I will also admit that I KNOW that I am lucky, in this crazy economy, to have a job.  A good job.  I know it's a good job, even though I don't personally like it some days.  I have a great salary and a lot a great benefits.   And there lies the source of my guilt - lucky to have a good job, but missing my kids and wanting to provide something better for them.  Sometimes I describe it as STUCK.  


What does this have to do with that original Facebook posting I referenced?  Simple -- stay at home mom or working mom:  we all have our issues and guilt.  The grass always seems greener on the other side... 

It's A Small World...

During Tatiana's adoption I became horribly addicted to blogs.  They were my lifeline.  I read and scoured everyone I could get my hands on!  I lived vicariously through those who were traveling before me.  I was experiencing my own emotional roller coaster with lots of my new "friends".  

Over time Facebook moved into first place and blogging took a backseat.  Now many of my bloggy land friends are Facebook friends and I thoroughly enjoy keeping up with them on Facebook AND blogs.  The International Adoption community is a small one, and it never ceases to amaze me the new families that I "meet" through this crazy, wonderful network.  

Another one of my friends is stepping back into the IA pool.  Yvonne is one of the funniest, sweetest, most helpful friends I have ever met.  She and her son, Connor, welcomed sister Elina into their hearts and family a couple years ago.  Elina is from Bulgaria and has a dual leg limb difference.  I have LOVED watching Elina blossom and grow in her new family.  Yvonne is a FABULOUS mom and that should help the two boys she's hoping to bring home.  You can read all about Yvonne and her boys on Reese's Rainbow.  If you have the ability and feel compelled, please help her cause!  

http://reecesrainbow.org/Villemure

Like the 147 million orphans in the world, Danny and Dante just want a loving home and a mom who loves them.   They'll hit the jackpot with Yvonne, Connor and Elina!!

Post Holiday Wrap Up

I had planned on catching up sooner, but due to some odd, un-named (as of yet) sickness, it's now January 1, 2012 and I have lost all of my vacation!  Argh!


Thankfully, I managed to stay semi-healthy through December 25th pm.  We had a fabulous Christmas with family.  Alex's first Christmas at home was a blast!  I am not sure he understood it all -- and probably thinks:  "weird trees in house, extra lights here and there, open presents, wait a few days, open more presents, eat lot of foods". 


We hosted Christmas Eve here at my house for my mom's family.  This used to be a long standing tradition that was never missed.  However, for the last few years it's been rather on again, off again.  I guess that's what happens as we all get older, but I am thankful my kids to got experience one of my most treasured childhood memories.  


Christmas Day the kids slept until 8:30am!  Even when they did wake up, there was no rush to open presents -- Tatiana knew what the day was, but she was content to look at her stocking and ease into things.  Yes, mama is VERY spoiled by such good little kids!  Gramma Darlin joined us and we opened mama presents, and Santa presents and finally had a late breakfast.  After some down time, we were off to Great Gramma's for more merriment.  And that's when I started feeling sick.... 

Alex opening presents, Christmas morning 

 Tatiana opens a Karaoke machine!

 After a long Christmas Day

Tatiana and BFF, cousin Mary, on Christmas Eve -- striking poses 

Christmas Eve - ready for bed

My kids have been awesome this week.  Sick, crabby, mama didn't have the energy to do half the projects we had planned, but they were still very well behaved.  Now, if we can just find space for the new things.   Tatiana managed to stay up until mid-night with me last night to watch the ball drop.  Her comments:  "Mama, did it break"??  I just worship that girl.  She was the best date I have EVER had on a New Year's Eve.  


Next weekend is the Russian Orthodox Christmas and 8 months home for Alex!  It's hard to believe that just last year at this time I was waiting, not so patiently, for travel dates to head to Russia to meet the little guy.  The past 8 months have flown by, yet in most ways, it feels like he's been here forever.  I can't wait for the days when Alex can stay up til midnight too!   

Echo, Echo, Echo

Man!  It’s sure quiet around here.  I guess it’s been quiet around here because our lives have been exactly the opposite!  I can’t believe the last time I posted was just after Tatiana’s birthday.  Oops!

So what have we been up to that is keeping us so busy, you ask? (Or maybe you didn’t, but if you’re here and still reading, you’re going to find out anyway!)  Let’s see.  First, for all 3 of us, there was Halloween and a tale of Red Riding Hood.  Then, I got buried at work with back to back to back trips.  Ugh.  Suddenly, it was Thanksgiving and shortly thereafter we took a quick trip to Florida to see Grampa and Gramma.  Then this week, Alex had his latest Rite of Boyhood Passage.   Whew.  All caught up?  Ok good. 

Alex’s first Halloween was a huge hit!  He LOVED dressing up.  This year Tatiana was “Little Red Riding Hood” – a costume that mama smartly purchased last year 1/2 off.  Sadly, I think that was my last year to be able to get away with that as she really started to get opinions on what costume she wanted to be as the year went on.  I was able to convince her that “Red” was cool though, because it had a really cool cape and dress.  I found a “wolf” costume for Alex, which was a double bonus because up here in the north, you never know what type of weather you’ll get on October 31st.  In my lifetime, I have seen snow and I have seen 70 degrees.  Crazy.  However, more typically than not, it’s COLD at that time of year, so the wolf costume was the perfect fuzzy warmth for a little guy.  Plus it also hid the sweatshirt, sweatpants combo underneath!  Having two social butterfly children on Halloween, we weren’t able to cover TOO much ground, but trust me when I say there was more than enough candy to go around. 

Halloween Festivities

I wish I could say that I had the type of job that got quiet near the end of the year.  Not so much.  Not only was there the day to day business to maintain, a year end number to achieve, but add to the mix 2012 planning with a whole mess of customers.   I logged a lot of miles in late October and November!  And even though I am home MOST nights, after a long day of go go go, and get ready for tomorrow’s go go go, I pretty much just want to go go go to bed bed bed.  Thankfully, I can report that as of last week, I made the revised number that I committed to back in September.  HUGE weight off my shoulders. 

Continuing in the line of Alex’s “firsts” – next up was Thanksgiving.  I LOVE Thanksgiving.  Always have.  Always will.  In my family we have a GIANT, massive Thanksgiving.  My grandfather was 1 of 7 boys and all 7 families still get together each year for the gathering.  An average year for us is 75-80 people.  The adults all talk and catch up (where do you start with that many family members to catch up with!) and the kids literally run around and whoop it up.  I did it when I was young and now it’s my kids turn!   This year in attendance were 3 Kindergartners – all from the same school and obviously, from the same family!  Tatiana, her cousin Riley (MY cousin’s daughter) and their cousin Jayden (my Great Uncle Lyle’s great grandson) all go to the same school.  You have got to love a small town.   And even at two years old and only home for just over 6 months, Alex figured out his role, and ran around with the rest of the kids like he had been doing it his whole life.                         Tatiana with cousin, Mary, at Thanksgiving

WOW!  Almost caught up to present!  Last week, to escape the cold and snow, we hopped a plane and headed to Florida to see my dad.  It’s always good, even for just a couple days, to get away.  I will admit that I wasn’t looking forward to hauling all the belongings of 3 people to the airport, and flying alone with two kids 5 and under.  I used an off site parking service – so I had an extra set of hands with luggage – relief!  To my amazement, both kids were EXTREMELY well behaved on both flights.  In fact, both times the people next to me/behind me said “your kids were SOOO good”.  SHOCK and AWE!  While in Florida, we saw Santa (Tati LOVED him, Alex – not so much);  saw my Aunt Kay/Uncle Dick; went to a bouncy house – big hit; and Tatiana rode her bike (with training wheels) EVERY night – and if I may add, got really good at it!  Loads of fun.

   

Seeing Santa:  Tatiana (the old pro) and Alex (somewhat hesitant!)

Fun at Bounce U

Riding bikes in Florida!! 

Back in reality this week, Alex completed another rite of passage for boys… STITCHES.  Long story short (who me?  never!), his eyebrow area collided with the lip of the car door.  He couldn’t achieve this feat again if he tried, but yesterday, he did it perfectly.  4 stitches and 3 ER hours later, we were home and he was acting like nothing ever happened.  He’ll probably have a small scar on his eyebrow area to taunt future bullies with, but mama will have a huge lasting scar on her heart having to hold a normally happy go lucky two year old down while someone puts needles in his eyebrow over and over again.  YUCK! 

Who cried more, Alex or mom?

We’re in the final countdown to Christmas, here.  School sing is done, parties are underway and presents are pretty much a WRAP.  (Sorry, couldn’t resist!)

 

School Sing

I promise not to be away this long again.  I may have said that in the past… but I really do THINK that I mean it!  We’re engrossed in Christmas festivities now, so bring on the fun!  A couple more firsts on the horizon for Mr. Alex!