As many of my fellow adoptive bloggers know, a few weeks ago, another blogger with a really great name (Amy) had the idea for people to share some of the darker side of adoption -- the stuff you really don't like talking about... the HARD days.
I am really thankful that so far both of my adoptions have had MANY more happy days than the rough days, but I will admit that we're NOT perfect. Far from it. Most of the issues have been MINE vs. theirs. It's not as easy as it looks to suddenly be thrown into parenthood of a 2.5 year old who has never truly known love and affection.
My dear friend Sherry (and my big sister from my sorority!) is currently in Vladivostok, waiting out her "10 day wait". Her blog post today talked a little about the roller coaster of these first few days together. Even though Alex's & my first few days together weren't that long ago, I also remember Tatiana's first few days with me like they were yesterday. They were some of the hardest days of our transition. Looking back, some of it was likely the fishbowl that is the hotel, and lots of it is the overwhelming emotions that sweep over you after FINALLY achieving what you've worked so hard for. For months and months I dreamed of this little girl and our great life together. Suddenly, it was all complete and it wasn't exactly as I planned!
With Alex home now, I was looking back at old blog posts of Tatiana to see how much she's grown. I found this post that talked about those first few days and the ugly truth. If it helps someone now feel like they aren't alone... then I will be overjoyed. For those getting ready to adopt, or those just getting custody... don't get down on yourself when your reality doesn't match up to the "dream"... it rarely does!
And now back to some of the happier moments... another reminder of my first days together with Tatiana came in the form of a visit from Lisa, her mom Boo and adorable son, Sacha. You may remember Lisa from trip #2 to Vlad... she and her husband Andrew and I spent our days passing the time at the Vlad Motor Inn. Out of the pack that was there during our stay, they were the only other family that did NOT have custody during the magic 10 day wait. I almost forgot how much fun she is!! Hopefully our next gathering won't be another 2+ years later.
Tatiana and Sacha - Vladivostok, March 2009
Tatiana and Sacha - June, 2011
7 comments:
We're far from perfect too!! We have great days, weeks even, then it all falls apart. "It's a phase" is my newest mantra!!
And I agree that the new parents are surprised by how much adjusting we have to go though that we didn't even realize!! (At least it was that way for me!!!)
Glad you all are doing well!!
Those are two absolutely adorable kids. . .who could possibly have a hard time adjusting to them??? (wink, wink, nod nod. . .) It is hard at times. . .but the reward is so worth it! Just a little peck on the cheek or an unexpected hug and a little "I love you Mama!" and I am putty in his hands.
Well said, well said! Love the pics of those two cuties! My, how they have GROWN!
You have a beautiful family!
We are leaving in 2 weeks to bring home our little girl from St. Petersburg (after a long 3 year journey.
Glad to meet another mom who's been in the same boat. :)
~Mel
http://viatorfamily.blogspot.com/
But the Cleavers were not as cute as these two! Glad things are going well!
They have grown so much! Sacha asked almost everyday if he could go visit Tatiana's house and play with the blue vacuum.
Maybe next time they meet, he will actually look at a camera. They both look so nervous in the first one.
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