Two Years Ago…

According to my Outlook Calendar, two years ago today I was meeting with retailers in the Central Michigan area, planning some promotions on Chocolate Milk. Exciting times.

Far, far away, in St. Petersburg, Russia, a young woman went into labor on the street. It was a rainy, 60 degree day at the start of fall – not too unlike the weather we’re having here today.  She walked into Maternity Hospital #17 without identification. No passport was provided, only a name, and likely a false one at that. She was 18. She was alone and she was probably scared. There were no parents called, no friends to help her through the delivery. She was by herself, about to give birth.

Who was this girl? That remains a good question. We’ll call her Miss “D”. All signs point to the fact that she was a transplant to St. Petersburg, the 2^nd largest Russian city. A city known for it’s beautiful sights and opulent Cathedrals. And tourism. With all of this comes jobs – and people that want them. Along the way, there was a man, or a boy perhaps. Likely a Russian. NOTHING is known about him. Zilch, zip, nada. There are many scenarios that could have played out here, but I like to think of the happier ones. Maybe she found love on the streets of St. Petersburg. It’s a gorgeous, romantic city, so who could blame her?

But at 18, and possibly homeless in a country over-run with poverty, what was a girl to do?

In this beautiful city, on this cool, rainy day, an equally beautiful boy was born. And so began the life of the little boy that we now know as Alexander Thomas Repp. Quietly, without permission, Miss “D” slipped out of the hospital. A few months later, the Ministry of Education would petition the court to remove her from the original birth certificate. Without this step, Alex would never be. He would have remained an orphan until he was somewhere between 16 and 17 and then he would have been put on the streets. And I wouldn’t have known THIS smile.

Breakfast on my 2nd Birthday

A lot of things in the world aligned to bring little Alex home to Michigan. I am thankful for each step along this path. I’ll probably never find her, but if I could, I’d like to hug Miss “D”. I’d like to let her know that Alex is good. He’s better than good. He’s the sweetest little snuggle boy I’ve ever met. I have a better chance, though, of tracking down the staff that went to court for him. And I may do just that. Someone should know how much their actions are appreciated.

Lucky

Sometimes it takes hearing REALLY bad adoption stories to make me realize how smooth my ride(s) were.  Yes, we have our rough days:  days when the kids whine too much or mama yells too much; nights with bad dreams, and crying babies.  However, all in all, I am forever thankful for my experiences.  Mostly that my experiences are BEHIND me.  


Please take a moment and read the following blog:
http://www.altynailegacyfund.blogspot.com/


I can only read for so long.  It breaks my heart over and over again.  I CANNOT fathom what these families are going through.  My thoughts and prayers continually go out to these families and the CHILDREN who just need a family.

I Hope the Russians Love Their Children Too

10 years ago today the world changed in 102 minutes.  I’d like to say that I don’t remember the events of that dreadful day, but they will be forever burned into my mind.  For my generation, this is the new day that will also live in infamy.  I’ve been to Pearl Harbor and it touched me in ways that I never could begin to describe, but I wasn’t alive and didn’t live through it, live on TV, over and over again. 
I am about to date myself here, but when I was growing up, we were SCARED of the “Russians”.  The USSR was the big bad country that was out to get us.  Even though I was a young teen ager in the 80’s, I distinctly remember going to bed afraid that the Russian’s would start a nuclear war.  What would happen?  Would it be as bad as the movies and TV say it would be?  Why did they hate us so much?  Did Russian teenagers have the same questions?  I can still sing every word of The Police’s song, “Russians”.  As Sting wrote, …”we share the same biology, regardless of ideology.  I hope the Russians love their children too”.  
But things changed.  The Soviet Union fell and suddenly the super power was not as large and looming as it once was. 
The 80’s came to a close and during most of the 90’s I was living in the metro Detroit area.  If you lived in Detroit in the 90’s – you watched hockey, specifically the Red Wings.  During the late 90’s, the Red Wings – featuring a line of all 5 former Soviet players, known as “the Russian 5”, were constantly battling their conference foe, the Colorado Avalanche.  During one particular year’s hockey playoffs, I happened to be flying to Denver for work.  I was seated next to a Denver couple – who were also hockey fans.  There was a game that night, and since 90% of the flight were interested in these playoffs, the pilot would updated us periodically with a score.  That night, the Red Wings were victorious.  The female portion of the Denver couple next to me loudly proclaimed that she could never support a team that employed “Russians”.  It was in this moment that I realized how ridiculous judging an entire country by a few political issues really was. 
The morning of September 11, 2001, I was in my bosses (Ava’s) car traveling to a meeting.  We had the radio off because we were talking and planning for a big upcoming promotion.  The office called Ava’s cell phone and told us what was going on.  For the next week I was glued to any media source I could get my hands on. 
We were at war – and the Russians, who scared me all my life, weren’t involved.  Just like back in the 80’s, and again in the 90’s, it was difficult for me to understand why someone would hate an entire country.  I don’t know if I will ever truly understand that. 
This morning I sit here with my two Russians, who are currently arguing over coloring books in the kitchen.  I am thankful that they don't know yet the sadness of this day or what it means.  I have been to Russia 5 times and would love to see so much more of the beautiful country that is my children’s homeland.  I am thankful that our 80’s issues never became more than lingering lyrics to a song.  I wish I could say the same for September 11th. 

To Snip or Not to Snip?

24 hours after being home from Alex's circumcision surgery, I thought I'd expound a little more on our experience and thoughts. I share this not to be overly morbid, but I know from experience that a circumcision is a big decision for many adoptive families.

To snip or not to snip... that is the question.

When I first started back with my first adoption for Tatiana, if you remember SHE was going to be a HE. Once I made the decision to adopt, I wanted my child home yesterday. The wait for girls is typically longer than for boys, so sure -- I'd sign up for a son. During what seemed like my endless wait through paperwork and then for a referral (looking back, it was no where NEAR endless, but it's always worse in the thick of things), I remember reading that little boys are not circumcised in Russia and that families must choose when they get home if they want to proceed down this road or not. I remember reading the posts of my friends who were adopting little boys, their decisions and then surgery days.

Obviously the path to my first adoption changed quickly, and I could put this decision out of my head. For the time. Then along came Alex. When I started proceeding with adoption #2, the thought jumped back into my head, briefly. It wasn't until our first night together at the hotel that it became REAL. Whoa!! Nelly!! Decision time.

I talked with friends on both sides of this debate. I also spoke with some friends who are nurses. In the end, while everyone had great opinions and - honestly, it was my medical friends who helped the decision for me. They weren't telling me what to do by ANY means. Decision made.

First, we had to get a referral for a Pediatric Urologist from Alex's doctor. UGH. I hate the red tape of the medical world. Imagine my surprise that the closest one was over an hour away. Double UGH. We met with Dr R back in June. More surprises were in store when I heard that the wait for surgery was 6 to 8 weeks! Triple UGH. But, scheduled we did - and the date was set for yesterday, August 23rd. And to make it even more interesting, we had 2 hospital choices -- and yes, also over an hour away. If you're keeping count... that's a fourth UGH. Sometimes, it's a pain living in the sticks.

Lots of my parental friends, adoptive or not, have faced surgeries for their kids. And I always hear it's harder on mom and dad than it is the child. This is quite possibly true!

The challenge started with our surgery time. I had requested MULTIPLE times not to be first in the morning since we were facing a drive. Well, they heard me loud and clear because they didn't schedule Alex until after 1pm! They told us to arrive at 1pm -- so that means surgery was scheduled for AFTER that. Great, right? Well... in theory. However, try explaining to a 23 month old child that he can't eat ALL morning or lunch. After midnight the night before, no food. Because of the late hour of surgery, I woke him up @ 11:15 and gave him some Greek yogurt, strawberries and a bottle of Pediasure. His tummy was FULL! He was also allowed to have clear liquids until 9am, so when he woke up he had a small glass of apple juice. Tatiana was whisked off to daycare so she could eat without torturing her brother, and I put him in his crib in the guise of a "nap" so I could sneak off and have some toast and yogurt of my own.

We found the hospital with no issues - in fact we were early. They brought us in pretty quickly and all of a sudden Alex was in his gown and admitted. The Anesthesiologist came in and asked a bunch of questions and it seemed like he'd be taken any minute. And then the waiting started... after she left, we saw no one for a hour and a half! (another huge UGH) The little guy's procedure before Alex with the Urologist went MUCH longer than expected. Got it. But please, people, for the sake of a mama's sanity, COMMUNICATE! It was hard to keep a very hungry 23 month old entertained in a pre-op room for 1 hour and 30 minutes. Honestly, Alex was a total trooper and the hardest thing I had to deal with was keeping him relatively quiet from his giggling!

Finally, it was go time. Because of all the hurry up and wait, I really had no time to get nervous. Suddenly my little boy was being wheeled away. He started to pout and cry, but a very sweet nurse got him babbling about something (literally, since he has so few words!) and he was distracted enough.

Between finding a place for mama to get something to eat, updating some family and friends, and catching up on the news of an east coast earth quake (what? really?), the hour passed by pretty quickly and soon Dr R was out to provide an update. By the time I finally got let in to see Alex, I was the lone waiting room occupant.

He was wheeled back in and basically looked like he was still waking up from a nap. One of the nurses called Alex a "her". Really? HE looks nothing like a girl, and aside from being surprised, I have issues with caretakers in a hospital who don't know their patients gender (especially when the patient just had surgery on his obviously male genitals!!). Alex was a little groggy and just wanted to snuggle. He fussed now and then, but was mostly just tired and hungry. Around 4:15 the poor boy finally got some snacks and milk. The pharmacy brought up his prescription and started calling out for "Thomas Repp" (Alex's middle name) and I swear in all my tiredness etc. I literally looked around for my dad (Alex's middle name is after my dad).

We were on the road near 6pm and headed for home. Gramma Darlin brought sister home and I had to send Alex packing for bed soon after that because the little stinker wouldn't settle down! He was SO excited to see sister and Gramma that he got VERY wound up! I guess he felt just fine!

Dr R had explained that he had (sorry for the men reading this...) an injection in his penis before they woke up him up to help fend off the pain. It would last about 8 hours - and sure enough, around 1am Alex woke up with some tears. He had a dosage of some medicine and brought to mama's bed. When he woke up this AM, no more tears -- he's been all smiles, all day. The tape bandage was supposed to fall off in the first tub soaking, but when I took off his diaper to get ready for the bath tonight -- it had already fallen off in his diaper. Huge relief for mama! I didn't want to have to pull that off!!

So all in all, a relatively painless couple days. A bunch of stress for not much of a deal. For those of you who have this choice to make in the future -- I hope this helped out.

Snip Snip Here, Snip Snip There...

That's how we laugh the day away in the merry old land of Oz...

Sorry, couldn't resist. And after you hear what we've been up to - you'll think that was crass and completely inappropriate. However... it describes what we did this week! Well at least some of it... probably the biggest part.

But first, on the fun side, Gramma Darlin and I took the chance to escape Michigan before summer officially came to an end and Tatiana has to go back to school. In Michigan it's a state law that public schools cannot start until AFTER Labor Day - so technically we have a couple more weeks, but the clock was ticking. Gramma Darlin had to go to Sandusky, Ohio for a project she's working on, so we took the opportunity to take the kids to Kalahari - the largest indoor water park. Surprise -- Tatiana LOVED it. Surprise again, Alex - not so much. He finally loosened up a little on day #2, outside when he found the water sprays. With a safari theme, they also have some animals there -- so we took the time (and spent the $$) to feed the giraffes, zebras, lemurs and birds. Tatiana and I have firmly agreed that we need a giraffe for our backyard.

Alex gets into the fun at Kalahari...

Water baby as ever -- Tatiana @ Kalahari

Alex feeds the parakeets

I think there is a giraffe stalking me...

Alex had a BLAST feeding the animals!

Now on to the not so fun side... today was Alex's big boy surgery. Yup... we did it. The circumcision. I know this can be a debate for some parents, but at the end of the day, the pros FOR circumcision outweighed the odds. Alex was a trooper during the whole procedure and in true Alex fashion... he charmed the nurses and staff with his flirting. He was totally back to his normal self by the time we got home - so much so that I had to send him to bed promptly at 8pm so he didn't get too wild and crazy while playing with his sister. His pain injection lasts until 11 or 12 tonight, so hopefully he'll sleep through the night with no issues and I can continue the pain meds in the morning.

Waiting for them to come take me...

Playing peek a boo with mama... anything to kill time!

After surgery - pouty boy!

Hopefully your week is uneventful and painless!

Fate and an Anniversary...

It's Saturday night. Alex, Tatiana and I are in a hotel, celebrating a weekend of adoption with the annual Lighthouse Adoptions picnic. I LOVE this gathering. Wouldn't miss it for the world. And this weekend, it's even more of a celebration for Tatiana and I. Tomorrow marks the EQUAL point of days spent IN the baby home/hospital and days with mama. This is always milestone in adoption as it's nice to think that time can heal some of the wounds that were opened in those early days, alone without a mama.

I can't believe how time has flown by. It seems like just yesterday I was just making contact with Lighthouse. Just yesterday I was thinking about the little one I'd bring home. And tonight? I am getting ready to celebrate my daughter's equal time out of the baby home mark. Hard to fathom!

The road to this moment wasn't always smooth, and it wasn't always picture perfect. However, I truly believe that fate took a hand in putting Tati and I together. Three years ago this summer, I was waiting for a little boy referral from Moscow. In my heart I always wanted a little girl, but I also have the patience of a gnat. When first speaking with Lighthouse, the wait for a little girl was long. Russia was just slowly getting back up to speed with adoptions after the "Great Re-accrediation" of 2008, and there were LOTS of families in line for little girls. For little boys? Not so much. So knowing that I couldn't control gender if I was giving birth, I figured, sure, why not! A little boy would be dandy.

Suddenly that summer Moscow City closed to singles -- and another door opened. Vladivostok. FAR, far away from Moscow. Heck -- I couldn't even pronounce it correctly for about the first 3 weeks. While out to dinner one night, my mom brought me a magazine she received in the mail. The magazine had NOTHING to do with adoption or travel, but had a map inside with 1 major city highlighted - VLADIVOSTOK. Surely, it was a sign.

So off to Vlad it was. My referral for a little guy came in and I traveled in October of 2008. All the gorey details are in the blog from during that time -- and I don't hide anything that happened, but suffice it to say, the sweet face that came in my referral was not meant to be. The IA doc who analyzed his file pointed out a "yellow flag" that could turn into a "red flag" but unfortunately more information was needed to judge that. The kind of information that you'd likely need to find out in person. And I did. Heartsick, I was told there was another child at the same baby home that I could see if I was willing to consider a girl. Willing? Ummm sure! Before I knew who she was, I saw her on the playground and fell in love instantly. When I was told that was her, I think my friend Rhonda cried harder than I did, but I knew instantly that we were a match. Without that sweet "yellow flag" referral, I never would have gotten to Vladivostok to meet my little T. Some say circumstance. I say fate.

While we've our bumps and bruises along the way, I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you fate!

The "house" (or family) that Lighthouse built!!

Tatiana - playing at the Lighthouse picnic

Party in the hotel! New jammies from Gramma and Grampa!!

When the Livin is Easy...

We've had a busy couple weeks... so much so that I'll use this as my excuse as to why once again I am behind on updates. Yup! That works. Busy!

I LOVE summer. The weather has been divine: hot, hot and more hot. The perfect weather for days at the pool. My daughter the fish seems to have picked up my love for summer as well. She could live in the pool, so I guess that would lend itself to a passion for the heat! It's not that I don't like fall, spring and winter; I really enjoy living where we have 4 distinct seasons. I am not sure that I could have it any other way. Life without a white Christmas? I think NOT!

So other than hanging out at the pool, we've enjoyed Saturday mornings at the library for story time, grilling out and now the onslaught of fabulous fresh fruits and veggies that have started pouring into the Farmers Market. Summer life is GOOD!

July was a busy month - specifically for Alex and mama. Alex got his 2nd haircut, applied for and received his social security number, opened a bank account and got MORE vaccinations. We also took his Russian Birth Certificate and Adoption Certificate to the County Courthouse and filed a "Delayed Registration of Foreign Birth". This is Michigan's version of re-adoption, in a way. Translation: After a 15 minute court appearance with a very nice judge (the same that did Tatiana's!) on his FINAL day of work before retirement, we have the paperwork to send to the state to get his US Birth Certificate. Necessary? Not 100%... however, when you show people a Russian Birth Certificate they tend to look at you like you have 5 heads. This will make things like Little League and school registration a little easier. Additionally, if it's ever lost... I don't have to wonder how I'll get back to St. Petersburg, Russia to replace it.

The last step will be to apply for his US Passport. Does an almost 2 year old need a US Passport right now? When you live 30 minutes from Canada -- pretty much! Plus... it WILL be necessary when we go on our CRUISE next spring from Tampa to Cozumel! You read that right! Mama and the two kidlets will be cruising next spring! We're going with my friend Yvonne and her two kids, Rhonda and possibly Rhonda's daughter and ANYONE else that wants to cruise with us! We got a GREAT deal for the week after Easter (Thursday - Monday) on a Jr Suite on Carnival - who is known for their kids club. My friend Sara's daughter ranks her cruise HIGHER on the vacation scale than Disney. Seriously! So a cruising we will go!

Tomorrow is Gramma Darlin's Birthday. If you ask Tatiana, she'll tell you how old Gramma is -- because she'll ask ANYONE she meets, "how old are you?". It's her question of the past few months - replacing, "What's your name". This question came to a slow when we started discussing not talking to strangers. However, the challenge now is that she'll announce to someone, "You're a stranger". Makes for interesting conversation in the grocery line... let me tell you.

That wraps up our July. Now for the part you've been waiting for... pictures!!

Spaghetti!!!

Waiting to go to court for "Delayed Registration of Foreign Birth"

Tatiana came up with this outfit all by herself... we call it Cinderella Easter Bunny

Guess who is 22 months now? Yup! Alex!

Ashley, Riley & Tatiana at the Lexington, MI Harbor

When the tub is too scary... the sink might work!

Music in the Park: Ashley and Tatiana waiting for the ABBA Tribute band

Little Miss Fish - in the pool as usual!

Alex's first cake -- Gramma's birthday cake!