Tick Tock Tick Tock

Happy Hump Day all. As January is nearing to an end, I don't have much of an update. A form for Little T was (finally!) picked up on Friday from the baby home in Artem and supposedly went to the judge on Monday. I was told that Tuesday they'd go back and I'd be matched with a judge -- but I haven't heard anything more on that (surprise!). I say supposedly - as my sarcasm shows through - because I've been hearing these "going to a judge" promises for a month now.


With SuperBowl upon us, if your team is in the big game, my best hopes for you! What an exciting time. Just a mere 3 years ago, I was in the thick of things here in Detroit as we geared up for the big game. What a week!! And 4 years ago, I was also lucky to attend the big game in Jacksonville. If you ever get the chance -- a SuperBowl is a once in a lifetime experience!!

Mindless Self Indulgance

(Yes, Rhonda, the title is in your honor!!)

Are you bored? Stressed? Need something to do to pass sometime? Are you waiting for a court date (ha!), waiting for a referral, waiting for a trip or need to escape your life for a moment?

Well, then do I have to the game for you. Thanks to my friend Amy (it's actually curses to my friend Amy -- you'll see why after you play!!), I am passing along this latest, mindless game. It's silly and easy and very low tech. But it's REALLY addictive. And it helps me pass the time between 15 minute Fish Wrangling intervals on Facebook -- but that's another story. So here it is... enjoy. And don't thank me! Thank Amy!!

Snake Trouble!

Book Tag

Sarah tagged me in a game to see what everyone is reading. I actually was tagged in this game on Facebook about a month ago, and since I LOVE to read, I'll gladly play along. My book isn't a "beach read" however, as I have been trying to read up on as many attachment tips as possible.

The rules:
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open to page 56.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 2 to 5 sentences, along with these rules.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual book. Pick the CLOSEST!
6. Tag five (or more) other people to do the same!

Here's my read:
"To encourage the development and expression of his inner life we need to first make him feel safe. If he knows that he will be judged negatively for his intentions, they will remain hidden. To provide the experience of safety, a parent might well consider PLACE. Representing the five parent-attitude qualities of Playfulness, Love, Acceptance, Curiosity, and Empathy."

Now my turn to tag:
1) Tamara
2) Sandy - needs a diversion, like me!
3) Angie (who actually recommended the book I am reading!)
4) Joanne
5) Heather

Read on!

Thank You, Friends

It is not often that I am without words, so I'll simply say thank you. Thank you to everyone who left a note or an email over the weekend of darkness. That's what I am calling it now, as I am trying to put it behind me and move forward. Adding to the madness this weekend, I have been under a full fledged sinus attack. I think it was my karmic-comeuppance for singing the praises too loudly of my flu shot in October. I finally listened to my mother (why I waited, I don't know, they always DO know best!) last night and used the ole boiling pot of water on the stove/towel over your head trick.

Through this I have seen that I have some amazing friends. Some old faces and some I have never met. I am truly touched by every ones kindness - from the Overstreet's including me in their weekly prayer group last night to my long time friend Kim in Columbus, OH who is dealing with her own "wait" as well in many different forms.

Kim sent me a note this weekend that really summed it all up for me. I told her that my first pass at the note had to be tabled due to rapid appearance of tears (maybe it was just the sinuses!), but I printed her note and read it again before bed last night. Kim is one of my oldest friends and by that I don't mean her chronological age! I met Kim on likely the first or second day of 9th grade - in gym class. She and her family had just moved to Mt. Pleasant, MI (my hometown) that year. I was the new kid once, so I always liked to introduce myself to the "new kids". Kim and I instantly hit it off and have been friends ever since. She knows me better than almost anyone! Kim sent a quote from a book she's reading and I wanted to share it:

"Waiting is our destiny as creatures who cannot by themselves bring about what they hope for. We wait in the darkness for a flame we cannot light, We wait in fear for a happy ending we cannot write, We wait for a not yet that feels like a not ever. Waiting is the hardest work of hope." - Lewis Smedes

While writing this post, I got the slightest of updates from my agency. Apparently the form they were promised from Tatiana's baby home was NOT ready for them last week and they are to have it this Wednesday. I am now being told that my papers should go to the judge this Thursday or Friday. Not the update I was hoping for - but at least it's an update.

Slowly Going Crazy...

This is for Ondrea, and all of those who have come before me in the hopes of "keeping it real". You can dismiss my rant, or ignore it, but I have to get it out. Not sure this will help at all, but in an attempt, here goes.

I think this wait is slowly driving me out of my mind. The past few weeks I have been an emotional WRECK. Mind you, I was always one to cry at the commercials of the big brother coming home as a surprise for Christmas etc... but I cried during "The Sound of Music". Since my childhood, this has long been a favorite, I was allowed to stay up for TWO movies every year: Sound of Music and The Wizard of Oz, and I don't think I ever cried, ONCE. This year, bawling.

Today I cried listening to Headline News in my car and NYC Mayor Bloomb*rg talking about giving a key to the city to the Pilot of the plane that went into the Hudson River yesterday. In. My. Car. This wait is slowly breaking my heart.

I made a bad assumption this week that another family who recently got a court date didn't have to redo any paperwork before hearing any feedback on court. Miraculous! They got to go right to a court date! WRONG! Turns out the process took over a month, with some paperwork expiring - and urgently mailing a file to Vladivostok. So my thought that maybe I'd hear something on Monday looks more and more like a pipe dream. And if my timeline is anything like theirs, I'll be lucky to get a court date in MARCH. March? March? Seriously?

People are very helpful and try to say things like "get lots of sleep now, because you won't when she comes home. Or "catch up on your movies"... etc. See this is the problem. I have been doing that for 2 1/2 months. Going on 3. I am ready. Really ready.

My mom said to me today, well you're just going to have to wait. And I realize it's true. But I am scared to death something will happen in that wait time. I scour the Internet trying to read anything and everything posted on Adoption.com's Russian board and FRUA.org... however, sometimes that just feeds my fire as I hear a different region is now cancelling trips over the ruling in the Chase Harrison legal case in VA. I try to explain to people that haven't been through this process how hard it is. The only relation I can come up with is (for those with kids) giving birth and then having the doctor tell you "Your child has to go away to the other side of the world for 4 months or so - you can come back and get him/her later". The wait is gut wrenching.

Her room is done, clothes are in the dresser. Toys are in toy boxes and waiting. Her picture is on my wall, and on my dresser. I can't wait to see her face again live. When????

Post Holiday Movement in Russia... AND VLAD

First, don't get too excited, it's not my news -- yet! But you can get excited for two of my blogger friends: Joy, who I just spoke of yesterday having struggles with her agency and waiting for a referral, got a referral of a little girl! And The Collinson's, who were in Vlad a week before me got their court date! So lots of wonderful movement after the holidays. I am so happy for you both, and while I can't WAIT to hear some wonderful news on my end, believe it or not, I am almost as excited for these families!

I did speak with my agency yesterday and was told that the team in Vladivostok has an appointment with the judge on Monday 1/19 to discuss my file. I am praying that the judge is in a wonderful mood and passes me right to go! Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Pennies and Lemonade

First, I want to pass along part of an email I got from my dad. A quick note on pops - he is where my humor comes from. And he's lethal with the forwarded emails! If you get on his list - you'll never be without a joke (or 5) in your in-box. I was expecting a joke last night - but got this instead:

That Little Penny In The Parking Lot: Remember this every time you pass that little penny in the parking lot. I always thought that it was for good luck, but I like this version better.

I found a penny today

Laying on the ground.

But it's not just a penny,

This little coin I've found.

Found pennies come from heaven,

that's what my Grandpa told me.

He said Angels toss them down.

Oh, how I loved that story.

He said when an Angel misses you,

They toss a penny down;

Sometimes just to cheer you up,

To make a smile out of your frown.

So, don't pass by that penny

When you're feeling blue.

It may be a penny from heaven

That an Angel's tossed to you

Now you can call me silly - but I really liked this story. I like to think that our loved ones that have passed watch over us. So, Gram? If you're not busy, I'll take a couple more pennies and a court date, please!!!

That's right, still waiting for a word. Any word. This morning while checking my favorite blogs, I got a message from Barb that she was passing along an award and had nominated me. Thanks Barb!! So before the rest of you get tagged... I am going to pass this along per the rules. And speaking of the rules, here they are:

This award is meant for people who are positive, show gratitude, and of course: make lemons out of lemonade! The rules for this award are that you post the graphic for it, write a post that links back to the giver, and then pass it on to up to ten others. Leave a comment on the blogs that get the award, so they know what's happened.

My nominees are:

1) SARA!!!! My sister in Vladivostok. Not only was Sara on her trip #1 when I was there as well, but we've shared a really scarily similar time line. Sara just "gets" me and vice versa. I hope we'll be life long friends!
2) Heather: My newest Vlad friend! I blog stalked Heather while she and her husband were in Vlad this past December. She is so positive about this wait that she re-energizes me when I need it!

3) Staci: Also waiting for her court trip to Vlad. Can't wait to have dinner with her in Vlad!

4) Joanne: I don't know where to start. Joanne has a calm and spirit that amazes me, especially with everything she's been through lately.

5) Finally, to the crew before me that has helped BEYOND their knowledge. Thanks for keeping me sane: Tamara, the duo of Jesse & Jason, Rachel, and of course Heidi!